Lorendil's Journal

thanum an dhul, do you think i'm dead?

2007-12-16T03:27:20Z

I am not sure, but I think my work here may be done.

We'll see.

you ask about my conscience and i offer you my soul

2007-08-14T20:12:59Z

I've never thought of magic as something you can perform with a spell. Words of ritual are all very well, and they have their own use, but to me, that is not magic. Magic is a dance, a pattern, a knowing. Perhaps it works differently for other people.

I work my own magic just by manifesting. But when there is a great work that needs to be done, a work that is too large for me, I rely on other people to help. In fact, this isn't actually my own work I am contemplating. I am merely the orchestrator.

I am happy that it is beginning to fall into place.

i only want to say

2007-06-11T17:00:42Z

It's very green here.

a poet a prophet a king?

2007-02-14T15:41:04Z

I'd like to point out that you can hurt yourself, even falling into feathers. But it's probably not fatal.

blinks

2006-12-19T23:27:06Z

What? I'm here.

in case there was any question

2006-08-28T17:42:52Z

Ces plumes noires? C'est moi.

things of power

2006-07-28T18:20:51Z

I did say, "Meet me in a high place at the feast-time of the Son of the Sun and we'll see what power is."

Thank you for your continued faith.

i keep nothing for myself

2006-06-27T05:16:33Z

Meet me in a high place at the feast-time of the Son of the Sun and we'll see what power is.

Never doubt. We are at your service.

oh, but my eyes still see

2006-06-25T20:38:15Z

Silence is no longer golden.

One thing that I have heard a lot of lately, and that has made me shake my head in sorrow, is the idea that what one is or feels inside is a thing to be gotten rid of.

During one's life, one will make mistakes, and one will acquire what we call "baggage". That's a good term, for to attain enlightenment, that baggage needs to be unpacked, examined, and the lessons it teaches must be learned.

But what we are inside...to cut that out with a knife...no. It's there for a reason. If you say "This thing I am/think/feel/desire on a regular basis is wrong; I must excise it," you are excising YOURSELF. If it's been there over several lifetimes, particularly...you are making a terrible mistake, and you will pay for it later.

I understand why people say these things; I really do. I've done it myself.

And I paid.

i'll sing you back again

2006-06-23T17:32:42Z

I'm a singer of songs and a player of music. These days, the singing of songs and playing of music is a softer profession. In my day, it was one of the most dangerous professions, and one of the most exalted, that one could hold. Most people don't understand that now, but we appreciate the ones who remember.

I hear songs in everything: the trees, the grass, the rain, the fire, the wind.

Thingwaer.

I spoke earlier of flames.

I didn't neglect to speak of the wind -- I was coming to it. The voice in the wind is quite as powerful, perhaps moreso in its own way, than the voice in the fire. Fire will devour everything; but the wind will devour the fire. And that is not wrong.

Thingwaer. Hear it.

twin flames

2006-06-14T15:06:22Z

Last night I heard her say to him, in a voice only I could hear, "My Prince..."

He doesn't know how to answer her yet. But he will.

I have been spending more and more time away, doing my own things. But when she's with him, I'm often near, because I like to watch their discovery.

Twin flames can never burn out.

a voice in the wind

2006-01-28T07:35:43Z

Oh, it's been long and long since I last felt moved to say something here.

That's not quite true. Now and then I feel the urge to check in. But I haven't had anything that I felt would be significant to say, so away again I've crept, thinking that when the time is right, I'd speak.

Well, the time is not quite right yet. But there's a wind blowing, and I think we all know what that means. The wind brings us things. I think it is time for a new season.

There is a voice on the wind, and if you listen, you will hear what it says.

and so in case you wondered....

2005-07-18T07:04:01Z

This is what I look like.

happy birthday

2005-07-13T14:32:04Z

Happy birthday to a very lovely woman, my darling ysabel. I hope the day is everything that you could wish.

the wonder of it all

2005-07-03T23:59:00Z

Aiya, I need to reactivate my paid account. I don't post often, I know, but I like having all those icons.

We've decided to start playing Second Life. Some time ago, popecrunch made a skin there for lothie, and now he's made one for me. It...it looks like me. I don't think I can describe how this makes me feel.

We'll be getting accounts there, probably next weekend. It will be nice to look like myself. I will show you what I look like then.

you were born under a bad sign with a blue moon in your eye

2005-04-12T04:36:08Z

I haven't posted at all so far this year. One short bit in January, and even that to not much purpose.

It's not for lack of having things on my mind. First off, I truly enjoyed what I saw of England, which I'm sure comes as no surprise. I also enjoyed meeting Cas, though I spent only a fleeting second in front. Sometime we must make it longer. And yes, we've been thinking of moving to there, though I don't know how realistic that thought is.

Lately I've been spending a good deal of time straying close by - but never quite into - a place where I can hear music and dancing. However, whenever I think I've managed to enter, I find myself in my father's hall, and that is not quite right. The place I am seeking is very like that, but not exactly. For one thing, it is above ground, it seems to me. For another, the music is somewhat different from that which my people made. Similar, though.

So that is why I've been away. My heart and head are full, but I have nothing to sing about, just yet.

do you hear what i hear?

2005-01-08T07:09:42Z

It's time to dance.

hair today

2005-01-03T22:59:44Z

Our hair is growing; lately when we don't want to deal with it we've been wearing it in a single braid. It's not a very long braid, but it's getting there.

Of course, a single braid is how I typically wear my hair when I don't want to deal with it. Mostly because I enjoy shaking it out.

I love hair.

wind and destruction

2005-01-01T02:33:21Z

I do not want to talk about driving home last night. Suffice it to say that I had flashbacks and they were not fun or pretty.

Today is the last day of this calendar's year. I enjoyed this year, short as it was. I imagine I will enjoy next year too. At the moment I wish I were at ahril's house because I think I would like to talk with Torlinque and Tolirion.

I hope lothie is going to stop working soon because I have other things I would like to be doing. At least I have had a nice conversation with draloreshimare about the natures of things.

too true

2004-12-14T05:36:07Z

A feel good quiz by cerulean_dreams
your name is...
your eyes	are dazzling
your hair	radiates beauty
your smile	is magnificent
your body	is wonderous
your hugs	are given to all who need them
your kiss	is dreamy
your love	is forever

Quiz created with MemeGen!

i'd have thought you'd know by now this is a game you can't win

2004-11-18T06:06:50Z

'Tis never a good idea to play games of strategy with the hearts of others.

ahril said, not too long ago, that we are all on the same side. She perhaps did not mean the same thing by "we" as I do but I would like to amplify on her words.

Everyone has his or her own "side" in any conflict. This is because people are individuals and no two will share exactly the same motivations and purposes. This will make it look, at a close distance, as though all these sides are different. However, if you look at all of these sides from a long distance, the edges blur. The differences are too small to see, too small to matter. The balance tips toward harmony, not discord.

Conflict doesn't interest me. I know that eventually, the circle will turn. Today you have the advantage; tomorrow I will; it makes much more sense to forget about it and pool our strength. No matter how much each of us may consider himself an individual, it is in our similarities, not our differences, that we are strong.

That is why I fear very little.

i'll be your dream i'll be your wish i'll be your fantasy

2004-11-09T02:24:47Z

As everyone knows, there is a stream that runs through our valley. One day, as we were sitting beside it, she said to me, "Lorendil, how often will you let me break your heart?"

And I replied, "You may break my heart over and over without end, Endamelisse. That which is given freely can never be utterly broken."

And that I know this is what makes me free.

chuckle

2004-10-04T20:50:10Z

Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
--Robert Heinlein (Lazarus Long)

endures all things

2004-08-31T22:41:50Z

There is little that I am sure of, but one thing I do know is this:

Love never fails.

the rite way

2004-08-23T02:26:51Z

He has probably forgotten, but I remember the conversation as clearly as if it happened yesterday. I remember the sun, caressing my cheek; the sea, dancing far below us; the breeze, playing in our hair; and most of all I remember his eyes.

My eyes are a deep smoke grey; sometimes they seem a dark green, but mostly they are just grey. But his eyes were blue. They ranged from a liquid steel, like the blued metal of a gun, to a blue so bright that you thought Heaven itself was behind them. How everyone loved and envied those eyes, but he never knew.

He looked at me with those eyes, set in his ruddy face and framed with his flaming red-gold hair, and I thought how beautiful he was, and how plain I was beside him, with my shadowy hair and pale skin, and my dark eyes. And he told me that he knew what our ritual needed.

"The rite demands a sacrifice," he said, leaning close to me, his hand on my arm. His lips stretched in a smile that, for the first time since childhood, chilled me instead of warming me. "A blood sacrifice."

I drew my breath in. I thought for a dizzy moment that he meant my blood, and the thought frightened me, but unaccountably, it also excited me.

Now I wish that he had, indeed, meant my blood.